Commitment
<strong> </strong>I suspect that there will be televisual conflict throughout the land this weekend as sports fans clash with royalists over the relative merits of Chelsea v Manchester United in the FA Cup Final against the union of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle at St George’s Chapel, Windsor. Although I wouldn’t describe myself as an out-and-out royalist, it is lovely to see that the happy couple enjoy
an obvious and natural rapport, not necessarily something for which British royal marriages have been known.
Most of us love to receive an invitation to a wedding. Whether as wedding guests or vicariously as television viewers on Saturday, we seem to receive some sort of endorphin rush by witnessing the ultimate declaration of commitment from two people to one another. The euphoria we feel towards the happy couple or the tears of joy shed by the most emotional guests are a biological response to our understanding of the magnitude of the commitment demanded by marriage vows.
In School assemblies, speakers explore each week their core values with the boys, and commitment is something that I often come back to in the thoughts that I share. I think that there are two types of commitment that boys must consider: the importance of being committed to the people and activities that we care about; and the importance of doing what we say we are going to do.
We talk a lot about our commitments – “what are your commitments today?” This is the first meaning: a commitment in the sense of something non-negotiable that others are relying on you to do. To my mind, a commitment should never be broken, even if something more interesting comes up. The scenario I have shared with boys is as follows. If you have committed to go round to your grandmother’s to have tea, you do not cancel even if a friend suggests a more exciting alternative. It is wrong to break the promise made to your grandmother – for whom this may be the highlight of the week.
The second type of ‘commitment’ is an attitude. The word ‘committed’ is beloved by Year 13s who use the word repeatedly in university applications: “I’m committed to the CCF … to Dissection Club”. My reflection is that virtually all LGS boys are ‘involved’ in valuable activities, but that I’m not convinced that they are always ‘committed’. The distinction is, I believe, important. Commitment suggests decision-making and leadership, whereas involvement can be passive. The crass analogy I make to explain the difference is the great British breakfast of bacon and eggs (apologies to vegetarian readers). As we know, the chicken is involved but the pig is committed.
You’ll be relieved that I won’t be taking my act to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this summer, but I do believe that the analogy holds water: commitment is about giving part of yourself to something, albeit metaphorically! This is the right time of the school year for boys to reflect on commitment. Years 11 and 13 are demonstrating over this revision period commitment to their studies in their desire to achieve the exam results that will open up opportunities for their adult lives. Although not all can achieve the top grades, the commitment that they make to their revision at this time is a symbol of the pride that they have in who they are. The same is true to a lesser extent for Years 7 to 10 who need to show focus over the next week in order safely to negotiate School Examination Week.
In summary, the message for boys on the subject of commitment has two parts. Firstly, always do what you say you are going to do. A commitment is a commitment and it’s not acceptable at the last moment to pull out because you’re feeling tired or a better option has presented itself. Other people are relying on you, and nobody wants to acquire the reputation of being ‘flaky’. Secondly, when engaged in collaborative activity, don’t be a passenger – someone who is not making the same commitment as the rest of the group. The older one gets, the easier it becomes to realise that fulfilment and happiness are not about what you get out of life – the wealth, the possessions, the plaudits – but more about what you put into life. Being described as ‘committed’ should therefore be considered a huge compliment.