If at first you don’t succeed
Last Friday, 3 May, was a day for hockey. Although boys have been using our new Astroturf from January, the official opening took place after school on Friday, just prior to our annual 1st XI versus Old Boys match. We decided to name our new facility after Mr Grant Sutcliffe, who has, over his 18 years at the Grammar School, been largely responsible for raising the profile of the sport. When he arrived in Loughborough in 2001, hockey had only recently started its transformation from a game played on grass, and we were hugely reliant on the University’s facilities for both practices and fixtures. Mr Sutcliffe takes his retirement this summer but, as many of you will be aware, he has been unwell and has been away from work since January. It was therefore wonderful that Mr Sutcliffe and his family could join us for the official opening and to receive plaudits from the many boys and alumni who have benefited from his coaching and enthusiasm for so many years.
A couple of Grammar School Old Boys have had great success on a national level with their hockey. David Condon (class of 2009) has represented England and Great Britain over 100 times, and Dr Ed Barney (2001), who is Performance Director of Great Britain and England Hockey, joined us last Friday to address boys in School Assembly. We always enjoy welcoming alumni back to speak to boys. As we all know, familiarity can breed contempt, and boys sometimes tire of hearing the same voices of the Headmaster, their Heads of Year or their Tutor. Much to my chagrin, boys tend to be more attentive to visiting speakers, especially those who, a few short years ago, were having the same experiences in lessons and assemblies at the Grammar School. Because they are now out there in the real world, doing jobs perceived as much more interesting than those of their teachers, their exoticism clearly makes them worth listening to!
What I particularly enjoy when hearing from our alumni is that their path through life has never been linear. When speaking about their school memories and relating how their careers have progressed, the story is never one of uninterrupted success. Time and time again, they attribute whatever success they have had to their attitude in picking themselves up when things have not gone to plan.
My introduction of Dr Barney to the School cited his first-class degree from Exeter University, followed by his Doctorate in Sports Science, yet he was at pains to emphasise that he was ‘no academic genius’ in his early days at LGS. Indeed, he told the boys that his parents had made him sit entrance examinations for all of the local independent schools, because they feared that he wouldn’t get into the Grammar School. He described being in the shadows of his sisters who had excelled academically at Loughborough High School, and fearing exams in his early years at the school because of his severe dyslexia. However, it was gratifying to hear how
Dr Barney attributes much of his subsequent success to teachers who took the time to help him overcome these disadvantages, so that he learned how to mitigate his learning difficulties. He also mentioned repeatedly the vital message that there is no replacement for sheer hard work. Although he was aware that many of his peers found the Grammar School workload to be relatively straightforward, he was determined from a young age not to use his dyslexia as an excuse. He understood quickly that it just meant that he needed to work harder than others, and to not be afraid of asking his teachers for help.
I have written before about how we must, in our desire to support our sons, be wary of stepping in to prevent any sort of failure. When your son is experiencing a difficulty (whether in his academic work or elsewhere in his education), we should therefore try to avoid making it into a massive issue, instead helping him to understand that this is just something to be expected in the rich tapestry of life. If we can help take the emotion out of the problem and help him to focus on possible solutions, we will be doing him a favour in the long run. As teachers, we quickly learn that it’s not in our pupils’ best interests to answer all of their questions, to give them the ‘right’ answer. When asked a question, we will often counter with a further question, designed to make our pupils think about how to find the answer, as we do not want them to become overly dependent on us. After all, one of the major aims of a secondary education is helping boys to become independent and thrive in the real world.
Dr Barney’s second anecdote concerned his early professional life, not long after achieving his doctorate in Sports Science. He related how he had seen an advert for his perfect job, but realised that he was not qualified. He decided that he would write anyway emphasising that he would be the ideal person to be the right-hand man to whomever was appointed to the top job. His ‘cheek’ got him noticed, and ultimately led to a fascinating and rewarding post. His point was that we have to take the chance to ‘knock on doors’ because we can’t expect others to do it for us. He admitted that sometimes, he had had doors closed in his face, but that, to be successful, you have to take the risk of failing. I have often reflected on this with my own university peers. Those who have had the greatest success are not those necessarily the top academic achievers. What they have had in common is an assertiveness. Yes, there is a fine line between being assertive and being arrogant, but I absolutely agree with Dr Barney that excessive modesty and a reluctance to thrust oneself forward are counter-productive.
This is why the co-curricular is so important to our sons’ development. Performing as an actor, musician or sportsman, taking part in a national STEM competition or leading others in the CCF or as part of your Duke of Edinburgh’s Award help boys to learn to be appropriately assertive and to develop the emotional intelligence to understand how to have a positive influence on others. Let’s not forget this as examinations loom large in so many boys’ lives.